The Yiddish Policeman's Union

By Michael Chabon

Another lovely book from Michael Chabon, I think I actually liked this one better than "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay", which I read last year. This one's quite a bit shorter, and based in an alternate world where the Jewish people were sent to Alaska after World War I instead of Israel. Meyer Landsman is a policeman in the Jewish state of Sitka, who tries to solve the case of a murdered chess-playing junkie. Chabon has created a whole society, complete with Jewish gumshoe lingo (which I found a bit hard to get my head around, but no more than actual gumshoe lingo), a bit of sass, a brooding atmosphere and snappy dialogue. Minor quibble in the presence of chess, which I think annoys me because it turns up in quite a few novels as some kind of plot device, but handled here so much better than all the others. At least Landsman also hates chess. Go on, read it...reeaaaddd itttt...

Rating: 9 out of 10

The Postman Always Rings Twice

By James M Cain
Initially, and as Hercule Poirot would say (sort of), I didn’t buy the psychology in this one – our protagonist, Frank (I won’t call him a hero), rocks up at a diner, manipulates the boss into giving him a job, fancies the missus (Cora), forces himself on her within a short space of time and bites her lip badly enough to make it bleed, and yet she appears to fancy him back. She has, apparently, “lips that stuck out in a way that made me want to mash them in for her”. What the?! Surely Cora’s husband, Nick the Greek, must have been a total monster, if Frank is an attractive proposition?? Yet the only crimes she fingers her husband for is being “greasy”. (Not only are the main characters generally unpleasant, they are also racist! And sexist! Still, it was written in the 30s, I suppose).

After a while, though, I got used to the “psychology” of the characters, even though Frank is so repulsive - and Cora’s not exactly fabulous either. So I was in for the ride as Cora and Frank try twice to kill off Nick the Greek and then go through the inevitable court case and relationship problems. This is not a happily-ever-after story! There is some satisfaction, I suppose, in seeing them get their just desserts…

I haven’t seen either of the films upon which this is based, or even any of the other films based on Cain’s novels (e.g. Double Indemnity) but it is not hard to imagine them as films – they are quite visual, and the writing style very fast and punchy. It reminds me a bit of Psycho, where the person who gets killed in the shower is morally flawed, and the story follows her crime and ultimate downfall.

Incidentally there is no postman in this book, which is a tad confusing because I was imagining some kind of “Cape Fear” story with a psychopathic postman. In fact I don’t believe there are even any doorbells rung. I googled it and apparently the phrase “The Postman Always Rings Twice” is code for the general sentiment “What Goes Around Comes Around”. I wonder if Justin Timberlake ever considered an alternate title for his song??

Rating: 6 out of 10

The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club

By Dorothy Sayers
By Gad, it was such a relief to read this after “Let the Right One In”!! Yes, in Dorothy Sayers’ books there are actually characters that say “By Gad!”. If you already read Sayers books with gusto then you won’t need to read this review, unless you want to confirm your own righteousness. The Wimsey novels are kind of addictive and you just have to read them all. Unless, of course, you didn’t warm to Sayers’ detective hero, Lord Peter Wimsey, or if you find characters that say things like “By Gad!” deeply annoying. You might have guessed by now that I LOVE the Lord Wimsey novels. Admittedly, some are better than others – this is a strong one - but regardless I have yet to convince anyone else I know that these books are as fabulous as I think they are.

This novel begins with the death of General Fentiman, who is found in a chair by the fire at his club, the titular Bellona Club. Needless to say this shocks other club members, but it is supposed that he merely died of old age while reading the newspaper. Then it is discovered there are complications involving the will of his estranged sister, Lady Dormer, involving which of them died first. So our hero Wimsey is asked to investigate.

I thought I was reading a Wimsey novel I had previously overlooked, but I suspect I have read it before as I had strange premonitions about who did what that I couldn’t chalk up to simple cleverness. The nice thing about having a terrible memory for books you have read, though, is that you forget the words and phrasings, the small details, machinations, characterisations and convolutions of the plot, and so the pleasure of reading it for the second time is undiminished – augmented, even, as you can kid yourself that you must be cleverer than you really are because you think you know whodunnit.

Lord Peter Wimsey helped me through a rough patch once, so perhaps I am biased. Go on, give him a go – you know you want to! A word of advice, though – don’t start with The Five Red Herrings or Murder Must Advertise. These aren’t his best. The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club is classic Wimsey, though.

Rating: 9 out of 10

Devils' Corner

By Lisa Scottoline
I’m afraid I found this book quite dull. Really dull, in fact. So dull it gets my annual award for Crime Novel Least Likely to Inspire Me to Stay Up Past My Bedtime as well as my other annual award for Least Plausible and Least Interesting Love Story.

So why was this book so dull? It wasn’t badly written. It had a relatively good plot – at least, it wasn’t one of those ones about some shifty white-collar crime involving convoluted financial arrangements, which I always find particularly challenging to follow…no, I think it was because the characters weren’t terribly engaging. They got a bit better by the end of the book, but I didn’t really get a sense of our heroine ever being particularly interesting. Her love interest was silly, as I believe I have already inferred. Also, she had a very annoying way of interviewing suspects and witnesses and so on, which seemed to be essentially to bombard them with a long series of questions and not let them have any time to respond. No subtle Inspector Goran-type methods here!

Anyway, what happens? Our heroine, Vicki Allegretti, goes to meet a confidential informant about some gun-running but interrupts the murder of said confidential informant, and the theft of some very good quality cocaine. Also, her partner gets killed. So naturally she has to investigate, against the express wishes of her boss, of course. (I think Lisa Scottoline needs to read a bit of Jasper Fforde, to make her more aware of crime novel cliches). Ho-hum.

Rating: 4 out of 10

The Vesuvius Club

By Mark Gatiss
Well, I really quite enjoyed that. Mind you, I passed this book onto a friend straight after I’d finished, and she didn’t go for it at all – not gritty enough, apparently. So be warned.

This book is written by one of the people behind “The League of Gentlemen”, which was that simultaneously macabre, wicked, camp and occasionally disturbing show that was on the ABC a few years ago. So that should give you a bit of an idea about the style of this novel, although disappointingly there was no local store for local people featured in the book.

The Vesuvius Club introduces us to Lucifer Box, by day merely a devilishly handsome, charming and stylish painter and by night (and often also by day) a secret agent for Her Majesty’s government. (Or is that His Majesty’s government? It’s set in Edwardian times). Oh, and he’s also extremely vain, selfish and a general rake, not fussy about the gender of his conquests. (To quote Living Colour, everybody loves you when you’re bi). Box must investigate the mysterious deaths of some high-profile scientists, which lead him through the houses of fashionable London, some graveyards, some naughty clubs and eventually to the tunnels of Naples, nestled beneath Mount Vesuvius.

There were maybe a few too many unbelievable cliff hangers at the end (this isn’t a Beethoven symphony, after all!), but by and large quite an enjoyable novel. Cads make such attractive heroes. Isn’t that terrible?? Excellent holiday reading.

Rating: 8 out of 10

The Outsider (2006)

By Albert Camus
A nice little shortie of a novel, I do like it when you can read classic fiction and it doesn’t take very long – such a sense of virtuous achievement! Also, another piece of classic fiction that is remarkably easy to read. Take note Thomas Pynchon: Great Literature Does Not Have To Hurt Your Brain. Some, in fact, would argue that the easier a book is to read (i.e. smooth, seamless and concise writing), the better the writer…this theory may fall over when considering the adventures of Spot the dog, however.

The Outsider tells the story of Meursault, a fairly normal young Algerian clerk who is undone through is inability to empathise with other people. Today he might be diagnosed with Asperger’s, or if he had been a lot more buff and also a genius he could have been another Jack Reacher – i.e. no remorse gene. Meursault somehow manages to kill an Arab man at the beach (yes this was the inspiration for The Cure’s song “Killing an Arab”) and during his subsequent trial his lack of remorse is used against him. Also, his Mum died a few days before and the prosecutors make much of the fact that he did not cry at her funeral – a.k.a. Lindy Chamberlain. Heartless bastard!!!

It is a very interesting novel – as we read from Meursault’s perspective, all his responses seem perfectly logical, and therefore other people’s responses to him equally surprising. (At least up until he murders someone). It reminded me a little of Patricia Highsmith’s The Talented Mr Ripley, a book I found quite disturbing – because we were inside Ripley’s head, we can understand perfectly where Ripley is coming from and think, perhaps, “there for the grace of God go I…”. I suppose you have to have empathy to think that, though, so Meursault and Ripley might not have liked each other’s books very much.

NB: Reading tip: Do not read copies of books that have parts underlined, especially if you have seen the film Heathers. It is very distracting.

Rating: 9 out of 10

They do it with mirrors (2006)

By Agatha Christie
You know, I’ve never read an Agatha Christie before. I know, I know, what have I been doing with myself? Reading Georgette Heyer and Dorothy Sayers instead, that’s what. But anyway, how did I like it? Not bad actually, and this book was even a Miss Marple adventure, who I’ve never been terribly interested in on the telly – she’s much more enjoyable in person. Maybe I’ll even like Poirot, if I read him instead of watch!! Anyway, it’s a good thing I liked Christie’s book, because I understand there’s a lot of others around and it’s always nice to know there’s a tidy stash of good books tucked away waiting to be read.

So what happens? The inherently mild-mannered, nosy Miss Marple leaves her intrigue-infested home town of St Mary Mead to visit an old friend, Carrie Louise Serrocold, who may be in trouble, according to the unspecified hunch of a mutual friend. Carrie Louise lives in a large mansion with her husband, two stepsons from a previous marriage, a daughter from a different previous marriage, a granddaughter, a grandson-in-law, a very efficient house-keeper/personal companion and about 200 juvenile delinquents and their attending physicians and psychiatrists - her husband has turned the family mansion into a school for recently released young offenders, but don’t worry, none of them are ever suspected of the murder. Wait – did I say there was a murder? Well there is, and Miss Marple figures out who did it!!

I think you could probably sum up this book as “charming”. I’m probably the last person on the planet to read it, but if by chance I’m wrong and that person is you, go on, give Miss Marple a go. You know you want to!!

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Cadillac Jukebox (2006)

By James Lee Burke
Detective Dave Robicheaux is probably a cliché amongst crime heroes now – an alcholic (recovered, in this book), Vietnam vet, some anger management issues, a murdered wife, relationship troubles with his current wife, a big chip on his shoulder about the haves and have-nots…in a word, Robicheaux has Demons. But James Lee Burke does it all so well! Robicheaux should be treated as the archetypal troubled cop, with all others relegated to mere pale imitations. (That means you, McCallum).

Burke’s books are all set in and around New Orleans, Louisiana, and his descriptive powers are way beyond that of most crime writers. In fact, they make me want to go to Louisiana, despite it clearly being a hotbed for pimps, extortionists, murderers and alligators. Burke’s writing is beautiful – I wonder what he’ll write next, post Hurricane Katrina, with his beloved landscapes and cityscapes destroyed?

Anyway, the plot. A guy who was convicted of killing a black activist many years ago insists on his innocence, and for various reasons Robicheaux decides to investigate, which leads to all sorts of problems with some really very nasty people – see above, not including the alligators. Hmm, that doesn’t really tell you a lot, does it? Never mind, I think maybe it’s worth reading James Lee Burke for other reasons.

A minor quibble - maybe it was just the flawless Cajun slang that admittedly I was having some trouble following, but characters kept saying things like “Hey, you’re a bright guy, I know you connect on this” and I’m, like, “No! Spell it out for me!” but Robicheaux seems to be awfully good at putting two and two together, if you know what I mean...

Rating: 7.5 out of 10

An Instance of the Fingerpost (2003)

By Iain Pears
Iain Pears does Umberto Eco – I am being tough on poor old Iain Pears, aren’t I?? Set in England after the restoration of King Charles, this book is essentially a murder mystery – who murdered Dr Grove? – and consists of four sections, each told by a different character, relating certain events from their own viewpoint.

This is an interesting idea, as the four people have very different ideas about who killed Dr Grove and why, and often works very well. However, as always happens to me in these kinds of books, I lost track of who all the different doctors and monks and Earls and Lords were and tended to get bogged down in all the philosophical and religious discussion. (I skipped quite large sections of Eco’s The Name of the Rose; all the bits that seemed more like advanced lectures in religious history). The first section, told by the Venetian Marco da Cola, was especially tough going. However, it did get better as it went along, and the following three sections were easier to get into. These sections were written in a less formal style and dealt less with esoteric topics and more with revenge and betrayal and all those other topics close to all our hearts. The last two sections I did enjoy quite a lot.

Overall, though, the book did have a slight feeling of “effort” to it – Iain Pears had obviously done a lot of research for the book and was determined to include everything he possibly could. And what’s with the title? I’m still not sure what the “fingerpost” is exactly, it did come up near the end but by that stage I wasn’t terribly interested as it didn’t seem to have much bearing on the plot. Could I use it in a sentence? Nope.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Basket Case (2005)

By Carl Hiaasen
I confess I picked up this novel out of thousands of others because it features a band called “Jimmy and the Slut Puppies” – such a great name for a band. The hero of our story, Jack Tagger, is an experienced journalist who pissed off the boss and so has been relegated to the obituaries desk. Jack now suffers from a kind of obsessive compulsive disorder about dying – he knows off-by-heart how old all the celebrities were when they died and he gets complete physicals every month because he’s worried he might die early like his Dad. However, once members of the Slut Puppies start dying, he has the opportunity to get back into real news stories once again – plus, he was quite a fan of the Slut Puppies way back when, so he would like to find out if justice is being served.

I liked this book a lot – the dialogue is good, it has some humour, it has some suspense, although the plot wasn’t as devious as it could have been – a bit too straightforward. It’s one of those “light and frothy” reads that’s good for beach holidays. I’ll read some more of Hiaasen’s books.

The only thing that really bugged me was Jack Tagger’s name, because it kept reminding me of “Taggart”, the television series, where “mairduh” is done so often and everyone is so very serious.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10
Not outstanding, but fun.

Wilt (2005)

By Tom Sharpe

This is the story of Henry Wilt, who’s a chap not really content with his middle-class existence. Neither is his wife, Eva, who wishes he had a more prestigious job and a bit more ambition and so on. Wilt fantasises about murdering his wife, especially after she meets an odious American couple, Sally and Gaskell Pringsheim, who are into Sexual Freedom and Women’s Lib and all sorts of revolutionary new things. Wilt even goes so far as to “practice” Eva’s murder, while she is away with the Pringsheims, after which he decides not to murder Eva.

Unfortunately for Wilt, his practice body (a blow-up plastic doll) is discovered and everyone believes he has murdered Eva after all. People become increasingly hysterical from then on, especially at some staff meetings at Wilt’s workplace, which are really very good scenes.

This book is written very cleverly, and is quite amusing, only it bothers me that the “bad guy” of the story is Sally Pringsheim, who really is a super bitch, but also the representative of “Women’s Lib” in the story. So, in satirising Sally, the author also makes Women’s Lib seem shallow and callous and selfish. Eva is “saved” in the end and she and Wilt return to their normal, comfortable existence, but partly because at some level Eva rejected Women’s Lib and what it represented.

In other words, I get the feeling Tom Sharpe is not a fan of Women’s Lib. But then, he is entitled not to be a fan…literature would be very dull if we all had the same opinions…all the same, I will be reading more of Sharpe to decide whether or not I think he is a misogynist, as well as to enjoy his depictions of bureaucratic ridiculousness.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10
Read when you feel in the mood for an episode of “Yes, Minister” or are feeling very anti-Women’s Lib.

Bad Debts (2004)

By Peter Temple
I’ve been trying to avoid giving books a rating of “7” because it seems a bit of a cop-out. But I’m afraid I couldn’t resist giving a seven for “Bad Debts”; it’s a good fun book while not being spectacular. I’ve been looking for a good crime writer for a while (one that isn't an autopsy person) and yay here is one!! Also, he’s Australian!

The hero of the story is Jack Irish, an ex-lawyer who now specialises in finding witnesses for trials and betting on the horses to make ends meet - he hangs around in the dodgy end of town a fair bit. Oh yes, he also enjoys a bit of woodwork, and used to have a drinking problem. It’s all set in and around Melbourne, which is nice seeing as I’m moving there soon. An ex-client of Jack’s contacts him because he’s in trouble, but is murdered before Jack can meet him. Of course, Jack starts to investigate, and meets a few leggy dames, crooked pollies and eccentric football fans along the way. I must say I am a bit worried about moving to Melbourne now, it seems to be a den of vice and a haven for criminals, and I will never think of Daylesford in quite the same way again. (Read the book to find out why).

It took me a while to get going with this book but by the end I was quite fond of Irish and will definitely try the others in the series. I have to say it did remind me of Dick Francis novels - perhaps that was just because of the horse racing element, and that strange feeling you get that the hero is into exactly all the same things the author likes to do in their spare time. More fun and better written than Dick Francis, though.

Rating: 7 out of 10

The DaVinci Code (2004)

By Dan Brown
I bought this book at Melbourne airport, as the Virginia Woolf I was reading at the time really wasn’t working out. Woolf requires solitude and silence, which is not what you find in the average departure lounge.

The DaVinci Code proved to be an excellent departure lounge novel, although I suspect if I read it in silence and solitude it might not hold up so well – it did cross my mind once or twice that the whole thing was a bit far-fetched. However, whether it was gory murders, albino monks, high-tech surveillance gear, secret societies or pagan sex rites, the DaVinci Code had it all. You could even pretend you were educating yourself about the history of Christianity at the same time. I would have liked a few more Matthew-Reilly-style italics to let me know when things were really amazing, though.

Perhaps I should try re-reading The Flanders Panel in a departure lounge, to see if I like it better? Incidentally, the DaVinci Code was fairly free of VTA (Violence Towards Art), except for a few Caravaggios that were handled rather roughly.

Rating: 8 out of 10

The Flanders Panel (2004)

By Arturo Perez-Reverte
I probably became unfairly biased against this book, when the heroine, a Spanish paintings restorer called Julia, first lit up a ciggie in front of the 15th century Flemish painting she was “cleaning” in her lounge room, on page one. She smoked in front of the picture for the first seven pages and did so again and again throughout the entire novel. During the novel, she also had long hot showers in the adjacent bathroom, with the door open, ate her meals while gazing at it, and brought drunken not-to-be-trusted friends home to it. At one point, she even kissed the painting! I mean really. With all of this going on, it made it hard for me to concentrate on the quality of the writing, the plot and all those other aspects you are supposed to consider in a book review. Clearly, however, Perez-Reverte has not done his homework properly!!

Now, perhaps this is just jealousy speaking, but how could Julia possibly become “one of the art restorers most sought after by museums and antiquarians” within only a few years of finishing her degree? Rot, I say. Also, apparently she was a restorer known for “the respect she showed the original work, an ethical position not always shared by her colleagues.” Ooh, that whole paragraph made me mad.

OK, so what happened in the book? Julia finds some hidden inscription underneath the paint that suggests that one of the people depicted in the painting was murdered. She and her guardian Cesar link up with a master chess player called Munoz to try and figure out the mystery - the painting shows two people playing chess, so they try to figure out what moves have been made in the game from the positions of the pieces on the board, in order to figure out who was guilty. (Many tedious descriptions of chess moves ensue). Of course, all this business has great implications for the value of the painting and people start getting murdered in present day too, and Julia’s life is in danger! (Gasp).

I was in a bad mood with this book anyway, but once the thing was solved it reminded me of those documentaries on SBS where a bunch of crazed archaeologists try to reconstruct some bridge over a river in order to prove that the yes, the Romans could have done it this way! Emphasis on “could” – they still don’t have any real proof, but they make up some good stories along the way. Or some bad stories. And I’m afraid I thought this was one – no-one’s motivations seemed believable to me, and if anyone arched their eyebrow one more time or smiled without really smiling, I was going to scream.

My Dad did say that it made good reading at 2:00am flying home from South America though.

Rating: 2 out of 10