Procrastination

As another way of not working on my thesis, which is due in a mind-boggling short space of time, I thought I'd provide some brief reviews of non-thesis related books I've read this year. I mean, seeing as I won't be doing the Readathon properly this year and all. They'll be brief...

Gentlemen of the Road - Michael Chabon
Not my favourite of his, but it had some good bits. It's Chabon, how can it not have good bits? I still think "The Final Solution" is my favourite Chabon to date. Or maybe "The Yiddish Policeman's Union".

Gone Tomorrow - Lee Child
Jack Reacher is back, and he's still a total legend. Also, learned how to spot a suicide bomber. Also learned that if I actually DID spot a suicide bomber, I'm probably doomed. Liked this one much better than the one before ("Nothing to Lose"), which I think I mentioned ended a bit strangely.

Twilight and New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
Yes yes OK I confess, I read two of those vampire teen romance novels. And by golly they are really not that dissimilar to Mills and Boon. There was a lot of jaw clenching going on and plenty of erratic heartbeats and generalised gazing. Oh, and did I mention unresolved sexual tension? Great stuff. As a consequence of reading the books I also watched the filum, and developed a slight crush on the poor lad who plays Edward Cullen, who's young enough to be my - um - much younger brother. I've also started to develop a list of "Questions people never seem to get around to asking vampires", like:

• So, like, what's the greatest gig you've ever seen in all your 600 years?
• Did you ever meet Disraeli? What was he like?
• Is there any substance to the rumour that aliens helped build Aztec temples?
• So what happened to the Amber Room, already?
  
• Do you guys go totally nuts when girls get their periods? (Sorry eww gross)

I suppose it's because everyone's too busy trying not to get bitten, or mooning around wishing their immortal beloved WOULD bite them so they could be together for ever and ever. But if I found a vegetarian vampire he/she and I would be having a long chat, let me tell you.

By the way, how much does Edward Cullen's room rock in that film?? NB This reaction clearly puts me in the "Enjoys 'Grand Designs' far too much for own good" age bracket.

Drood - Dan Simmons
I didn't get into this one as much as "The Terror", but still an enjoyable read-a-bit-before-bed novel. I will never be able to think of Wilkie Collins in the same light again though, the misogynist bastard!! Old Chas Dickens didn't pull up so well in that regard either!!

Is that really it? Crap. I want to read novels solid for a month. Gotta finish this thesis first though...

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (2006)

By Mark Haddon
I have avoided reading this book for ages, because the title annoyed me. How pretentious, I thought. Hear ye, hear ye: ye shall not judge a book by its title. (Unless it be The Horse Whisperer). This book was GREAT. Apparently it is really a book for “Young Adults” but has not been any less popular amongst adult readers. This book is another example in my ever-growing pile of evidence that some of the best books ever written are those written for “Young Adults”. Incidentally, imagine how you would feel if you were old enough to have relations with a woman, and yet – you could not drink in pubs. Sorry, where am I? Channelling “The Young Ones”, evidently.

This book is narrated by Christopher, who we soon discern is a fairly unusual teenager – for example, he is a maths genius, but hates the colours brown and yellow. He can’t eat food on his plate if different foods are touching each other. He doesn’t really like people much. He screams and rocks if he is afraid or confused. It is never said, but we assume Christopher is autistic. About a year and a half ago Christopher’s mother died, and now his father looks after him on his own. At the start of this story, Christopher is on one of his late-night walks when he discovers a neighbour’s dog (Wellington) dead in the neighbour’s front yard. Wellington has obviously been murdered, because he has a garden pitchfork sticking out of him, and Christopher resolves to find out who did it, in his own unique way, and despite his father’s instructions not to play detective.

As I’ve written elsewhere (in another review), I’m always a bit suspicious of authors writing from the perspective of someone who is very much unlike themselves. (Must check whether Mark Haddon is autistic himself; presumably he must at least have close contact with someone who is). How can I check whether Haddon’s representation of Christopher’s view of the world, his thinking patterns and is logic, is authentic? Well I can’t. But this book was a fascinating glimpse into what it may be like to be autistic (i.e. it successfully fooled me), and into the damage an autistic child can unwittingly wreak on his parents’ relationships - also, how easy it can be for an autistic person to fall afoul of the police and other people who do not recognise the cause of his unusual behaviour.

Rating: 8 out of 10

The Merlin Conspiracy (2003)

By Diana Wynne Jones
The most recent and most disappointing book by Diana Wynne Jones. Wynne Jones has been around for many years and is another of my favourite children’s authors - Harry Potter pales in comparison to her best. However, published in 2003, I get the feeling that this book was rushed out to cash in on the Harry Potter phenomenon and therefore skimped on some essential editing.

Set in a parallel universe to ours (this is a common theme in Wynne Jones’ books) called Blest, the book tells the story of Arianrhod (Roddy), Nicothedes (Nick) and Ambrose (Grundo), who between them must foil a plot hatched by some evil witches and wizards to drain all the magic of Blest and take over the world. It is told through the eyes of Roddy and Nick, in roughly alternating order. Nick’s adventures, in particular, have a dreamlike quality about them for at least the first half of the book (probably because Nick does think he’s dreaming for a while), but “dreamlike” in that it meanders and wanders and doesn’t seem to make much sense. And we all know how other people’s dreams are incredibly boring and not at all as deep and mysterious as our own.

It did pick up a bit towards the end, but if you are interested in giving Dianna Wynne Jones a go (which I hope you are!) skip this one and try some of her best, like Charmed Life, Howl’s Moving Castle and Dogsbody. In my opinion, they leave Harry Potter for dead.

Rating: 1 out of 10

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2003)

By J K Rowling
The Harry Potter books have never been able to live up to the standards of the books I read when I was a girl, but I still enjoy them nonetheless. Except for Harry, he needs to calm down a bit. In this book he’s hit the teen angst zone, and really, why does Hogwart’s seems to have a Professor for every (magical) subject under the sun but no counsellor?? In the last book Harry saw a fellow student get deaded, and all sorts of terrible things happened to him, but does anyone try and help him work through his feelings?? Of course not.

In this book the evil wizard Voldemort is back from the semi-dead, and deep divisions have formed in the wizarding world – the official Ministry of Magic line is that V’s resurrection is a load of baloney, and so they send a particularly nasty Professor to Hogwarts in order to keep Dumbledore and the rest of all the teachers and students in line. However, there is growing evidence to suggest that V is amassing his forces in anticipation of a final showdown…presumably this will occur in the seventh book, which will be Harry’s last year at Hogwarts.
I think I actually enjoyed this book more than the others, as it was more plot driven, and I didn’t find it particularly dark – a criticism of the Potter books which seems to be growing. I’m not sure why, it’s not like children’s books have ever been all sweetness and light, people get killed or suffer terribly in them all the time. Mind you, I’m still cross that When the wind blows was on our primary school reading list, there must be a generation of people out there who were scarred for life by that book.

Rating: 7 out of 10