The Merlin Conspiracy (2003)

By Diana Wynne Jones
The most recent and most disappointing book by Diana Wynne Jones. Wynne Jones has been around for many years and is another of my favourite children’s authors - Harry Potter pales in comparison to her best. However, published in 2003, I get the feeling that this book was rushed out to cash in on the Harry Potter phenomenon and therefore skimped on some essential editing.

Set in a parallel universe to ours (this is a common theme in Wynne Jones’ books) called Blest, the book tells the story of Arianrhod (Roddy), Nicothedes (Nick) and Ambrose (Grundo), who between them must foil a plot hatched by some evil witches and wizards to drain all the magic of Blest and take over the world. It is told through the eyes of Roddy and Nick, in roughly alternating order. Nick’s adventures, in particular, have a dreamlike quality about them for at least the first half of the book (probably because Nick does think he’s dreaming for a while), but “dreamlike” in that it meanders and wanders and doesn’t seem to make much sense. And we all know how other people’s dreams are incredibly boring and not at all as deep and mysterious as our own.

It did pick up a bit towards the end, but if you are interested in giving Dianna Wynne Jones a go (which I hope you are!) skip this one and try some of her best, like Charmed Life, Howl’s Moving Castle and Dogsbody. In my opinion, they leave Harry Potter for dead.

Rating: 1 out of 10

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2003)

By J K Rowling
The Harry Potter books have never been able to live up to the standards of the books I read when I was a girl, but I still enjoy them nonetheless. Except for Harry, he needs to calm down a bit. In this book he’s hit the teen angst zone, and really, why does Hogwart’s seems to have a Professor for every (magical) subject under the sun but no counsellor?? In the last book Harry saw a fellow student get deaded, and all sorts of terrible things happened to him, but does anyone try and help him work through his feelings?? Of course not.

In this book the evil wizard Voldemort is back from the semi-dead, and deep divisions have formed in the wizarding world – the official Ministry of Magic line is that V’s resurrection is a load of baloney, and so they send a particularly nasty Professor to Hogwarts in order to keep Dumbledore and the rest of all the teachers and students in line. However, there is growing evidence to suggest that V is amassing his forces in anticipation of a final showdown…presumably this will occur in the seventh book, which will be Harry’s last year at Hogwarts.
I think I actually enjoyed this book more than the others, as it was more plot driven, and I didn’t find it particularly dark – a criticism of the Potter books which seems to be growing. I’m not sure why, it’s not like children’s books have ever been all sweetness and light, people get killed or suffer terribly in them all the time. Mind you, I’m still cross that When the wind blows was on our primary school reading list, there must be a generation of people out there who were scarred for life by that book.

Rating: 7 out of 10

The Passion (2004)

By Jeanette Winterson
After reading a few of Winterson’s books now (Sexing the Cherry, Oranges are not the only fruit, Art Objects, the Lighthousekeeper and this one) I profess to being a fan, particularly after her visit to the Adelaide Festival’s Writers’ Week. She said that week that she wasn’t into the whole self-help thing, but by golly if she wanted to start a cult she could do it by snapping her fingers, we were hanging on her every word.

OK so I had a revelation while reading this book; I think I’ve figured out that love is the great theme of all Winterson’s books. (Took me a while, didn’t it?). Love is what it’s all about for Winterson; I suspect of her of being a hopeless romantic at heart. Life seems more of an intellectual experience for writers like Vonnegut and Burroughs, which is not to imply that love and other human emotions play no part in their writing (nor that Winterson’s writing is not intellectual); they’re just more cynical about the whole thing.

I really enjoyed The Passion, a novel set during the time of Napoleon’s empire. The first section especially was compelling, about French peasant Henri who becomes a cook for Napoleon, and who essentially hero-worships the emperor. Partly it is the historical element that makes it fascinating, but Winterson is such a beautiful writer than any enjoyment of her books has to come from the language as well.

The other main character of the story is Villanelle, daughter of a Venetian boatman, an employee of the casino. She falls passionately in love with another woman, who is married. Henri and Villanelle meet when both are sent on Napoleon’s march through Russia, in the section called “The Zero Winter”. Both of their hearts are damaged; Henri’s as he realises Napoleon is not worth his idolatry; Villanelle’s because she literally doesn’t have one - her lover has stolen it. (An odd bit of magical realism thrown in which didn’t quite work for me). As she says, though, it is a blessing – the zero winter is no place for a heart.

You know, sometimes I wonder if war and pain and suffering are worthwhile after all because of the stories and art and film that it has caused people to create. It can’t possibly be – rather this probably indicates something a little unpleasant about humans; to quote Vonnegut in Bluebeard: “what Pollock did lacked that greatest of all crowd pleasers, which was human sacrifice”.

Rating: 9 out of 10